Donald Trump Phoenix Rally Cold Open – SNL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioB2Vs_G45U

Ever since Weekend Update: Summer Edition kicked off, it has relied heavily on guest appearances—so, naturally, many viewers have been wondering when Alec Baldwin would eventually make an appearance as Donald Trump. On Thursday night, they finally got their answer when Baldwin appeared, along with Kenan Thompson, in a cold open. The two staged their own interpretation of the president’s unhinged rally in Phoenix—with Thompson on hand to play the “Blacks for Trump” guy. But there was also another surprise guest: S.N.L.’s Grim Reaper version of Steve Bannon. And to top it all off, Thursday brought some more great news: NBC has set a premiere date for its venerated sketch show: September 30, when Ryan Gosling will host and Jay-Z will serve as a musical guest.

In his cold open, Baldwin’s “Trump” addressed a crowd of white people in MAGA hats (and Kenan): “Wow, how about that eclipse, folks, huh? Now, a lot of people don’t know this, but you can damage your eyes while looking at an eclipse,” the “president” continued. “No one predicted this. They couldn’t have. I figured it out all by myself . . . Let me take these glasses off and see what you people look like. O.K.? Wow, everyone’s so white. So white here. It’s fantastic. And look! They found the one black guy at the rally and they sat him right behind me. Through the eclipse I can’t tell—are you really black?” Thompson replied that a black person was, indeed, what the ad said he was looking for. “Trump” pressed on:

“I am going to give you the hits: electoral map, drain the swamp, lock her up—all of them. But first, I want to talk about Charlottesville. As we all know there was a tragic victim that came out of Charlottesville: me. Folks, the media has treated me so unfairly by reporting my entire remarks, even the bad ones. So I wanted to set the record straight about exactly what I said, and I have the transcript right here: ‘I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there—’ Oh, sorry.“

After reading a very redacted version of his Charlottesville response, “Trump” urged his supporters that it’s important to “stick together as people,” as Thompson held up a sign that said “Blacks for Whites.” Baldwin also implied, just like the real president did, that he would pardon Joe Arpaio. (In reality, Trump might not actually be able to do that successfully.) And, after an encore performance of his promise to build the wall—even if it means shutting the government down—he brought on a special guest: Steve Bannon, who walked on to ominous music in his usual Grim Reaper costume to say, “You’ve only made me more powerful.”

“Steve is going on to Breitbart, where he’ll be fighting the good fight against globalist cucks like my son-in-law Jared,” Baldwin said. “Steve, we love you.” Bannon’s response? “I’m going to crush you.”

(via Vanity Fair)

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